9 things Your Tween/Teen Should Be Doing!
Kids are smart! They are capable of much more than we give them credit for. They are also good at letting other people do for them when they can get away with it! There are some skills that kids need to have before they head off to college or move out on their own. I think we can start teaching them these skills when they are in Middle School. In this post I cover a few things your tween/teen should be doing on their own.
It can be hard to take the time to train our kids. After all, cleaning up after them is way easier than fighting with them to clean up after themselves.
If your kids are anything like mine, they won’t be thrilled to be learning these new skills! However once my kids mastered these skills they were proud of themselves and they are surprised their peers are not doing the same things.
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Your tween and teen should be able to do the following:
Wake up to an alarm clock:
I know that waking up your kids could be your one sweet moment of the day(At least the moment when they are zonked out right before you wake them is sweet). However, when they go off to college they won’t have you there to do the job. A teen-ager should be able to get themselves out of bed and ready for the day on their own. Last year I bought my daughter an alarm because she actually needed to get up before me. I made one strategical error and that was the kind of alarm I bought! I bought a cheap alarm that doesn’t have a radio option. And it’s LOUD. About half the time it wakes both her little brother and me up. I still included that alarm in the link below because I like the big display and it does get the job done!
Do their own laundry:
Tweens and teens should know how to sort, wash, dry, and put away laundry. Putting them in charge of their own laundry teaches them responsibility and time-management. I have had mixed success with this. I started making my kids do their own laundry not out of some noble attempt to teach them a skill but because they were rude to me.
I’ve never minded doing laundry and there is certainly always enough to run a load if someone needs clothing washed right away. My kids took my willingness for granted and became rather demanding. They blamed me when they didn’t have clean clothes even though they hadn’t asked me to wash them. When I had enough of their attitude I shifted the task over to them.
I have been very surprised by who stays on top of their laundry and who doesn’t. I expected to have to remind one of them constantly and the other to be responsible. Turns out I had it backwards! The responsible one even reminds me when they need to get home early so they can get a load washed.
Aside from learning a life skill it’s just really nice to have their laundry off of my plate. My son has encountered some funny reactions when people learn he does his own laundry. His friends are usually appalled and their moms are usually impressed!
I recommend typing up instructions for your machine and hanging them close by or taping them to the top of the washer. After a few weeks they won’t need the reminder anymore.
Here are some cute baskets and laundry room signs!
Fill out their own paperwork:
I was surprised the first time I heard this idea. It had never occured to me to let them fill out their own paperwork. If you are like me this is a task you hate so how great is it to hand it over to your kid.
Even though kids learn their address in Kindergarten it seems like they lose that information if they don’t use it often. In our day of computers and texting with auto fill you can go a long time without writing your address down. Even my husband has to ask once in awhile since I am the one who does the bill paying.
Also the more they fill out forms for themselves the less stressful it will be. When it comes time to fill out job and college applications they will be a step ahead.
Make their own phone calls:
I asked my son to call Domino’s and order pizza the other night. He was nervous the whole time and was just sure I was playing a trick on him!
I have had my kids practice making phone calls since they were little. I would have them call my sister or my mom to practice. We still have a land line so I have let them answer the phone since they were pretty little. Although with all the scams these days that doesn’t seem like such a good idea anymore.
Here is what I have my kids do when they make a phone call.
– I make them dial so they know how
– When the phone is answered they should identify themselves and the reason for their call.
– Have their conversation then politely say goodbye.
Pretty easy stuff! Phone skills do seem to be on the decline with everyone having a cell phone these days.
Inspirational Printables from my ETSY Shop.
Sort through their clothes and toys:
As my kids get older and are not growing so quickly I don’t clean out their drawers as often as I used to. Tween and teens are certainly old enough to go through their clothes and decide what no longer fits, what is worn out, and what they just don’t wear because they don’t like it. If they can’t fit their clean clothes into their drawers they probably have too many clothes.
Same with toys. As they approach that 12-13 age it seems like kids grow up fast. They don’t play with toys as much but are not sure about parting with them yet. They should begin to go through their own stuff and decide what they want to keep and what they want to give away. At my house I throw in an extra step and offer to put it in the attic if it is something they are not quite ready to part with but don’t play with anymore. We can always readdress those toys/decorations later.
Make their own lunch:
this one is pretty self explanatory! I have one who makes his own lunch completely. The others I still make the sandwich for their lunch because if I didn’t they wouldn’t take anything but snacks. If you are more organized than I am you could always print a list of what they can take and how much each day.
Even with making the two sandwiches the chore of making lunch is much lighter now. I would rank this right up there with having them do their own laundry as far as how it makes my life easier!
Be responsible for their own room:
Tweens and teens should be taking care of their own space. They should be dusting and vacuuming on a regular basis. Along with their other laundry they should be washing their sheets as well.
I’m feelling convicted as I write this because my teens are not so great at this. My littlest actually keeps his room the cleanest. In fact the last time I had them vacuum their rooms they were not sure how the new vacuum worked. Kind of funny but seriously I will have to work harder at making sure this gets done!
Make a simple meal:
By the time a child graduates and leaves for college they should know how to fix a few meals. What better time to start than when they are old enough to reach the stove safely! My kids are not that tall so they were not ready for this until they were 11 or 12.
Besides teaching them to cook you can also take the opportunity to teach them how to meal plan. Take them to the grocery store when you shop for their meal. Help them understand the cost of groceries.
With mixed success I have handed over Sunday evening to my kids. We need to get better at planning ahead but they don’t seem to mind being in charge. Once in awhile I let them order pizza but mostly I ask them to think of a meal.
My littlest isn’t as keen on being in the kitchen. We keep telling him he can make us Peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches but he doesn’t think that is good enough. My original plan was that they would work together in the kitchen. On their own they decided they would take turns. I guess as long as they are putting dinner on the table I don’t care how it gets done.
Here are a few ideas:
Scrambled eggs and coffee cake
A scramble with sausage or bacon, tomatoes, cheese, potatoes, onion, green peppers (whatever your family likes) with muffins
Tuna Melts
Grilled Cheese
Spaghetti
Loaded/Stuffed potatoes
Hot Dogs/Salad/Chips
Chili and Cornbread
Chicken Sandwiches
Macaroni and Cheese
Tacos
If you have some easy meals I would love to hear about them. Please feel free to comment below!
This is a cute recipe book available on amazon. Plus it comes with super cute accessories.
As you can see my focus isn’t so much on how healthy the food is but more on letting them be responsible for getting dinner ready. As they grow in confidence their meals can get a little fancier (and healthier).
This is a great time to have them start a recipe collection of their own that they can take with them when they move to their own home. (Check out the cute one above!)
Paying for their own extras:
Distinguishing between wants and needs is a useful skill for all kids. I am happy to supply my kids needs but they buy a lot of the extras they want. They have their own money and I think it is good for them to buy their own stuff. Often if they want a big item they will pool their money and buy it together. They did this last year with a new trampoline mat. If they have to save for the item even better. This teaches them to delay gratification.
Some things I do not pay for include:
Special Outings that I wasn’t planning on going to.
Special clothing (meaning above and beyond the basic necessities)
Milkshakes from their favorite burger place
Candy, treats, cookies etc..
Impulse Purchases – Most things that start with “I want…’
Things I do pay for:
Basic clothing items
Winter/Summer gear
Basic Hygiene items
Sports Equipment
Family outings that are pre-planned
There are times when I plan on paying for an item but my child assumes they are paying. In these instances I usually let them pay. I like the responsibility they are exhibiting.
If you have any skills you have taught your kids I sure would love to hear your ideas! Please feel free to comment below! Let’s get a conversation going!
More Pinnable Images:
20 Comments
K Miller
Being a girl, my father taught me to change a tire so that I would never be stranded on the side of the road with that problem. When I left home, my mom gave me a AAA membership that I have maintained for my entire adult life.
When I was a tired mother of young children, my mother in law told me to stop picking up after them in the evening after they were asleep, or they would think a magic fairy would take care of things for them. She taught them a clean up song. She worked at a daycare.
My husband has my boys join him for small home repairs and teaches them finances.
On cooking, the first thing is teaching kids to read a recipe! Then cover the basics. Our goal is to have them comfortable with ten basics that can be applied to many things, like cooking a chicken or ground meat, baking, roasting vegetables , etc. They can put together a meal and make great sous chefs when time is tight.
We don’t have family near by. Sharing all of these ideas fits into the “It takes a community to raise a child.” Thanks everyone.
Jennifer
These are fantastic ideas! Thanks for sharing!
Wendy Butler
Teens need basic car skills too–
They need to know how to fill gas, change a tire, and check and fill the oil, at bare minimum.
Jennifer
Absolutely! Thanks for chiming !
Meagan
I started having my kids do their own laundry (with help) in kindergarten. I put stickers on the appropriate spot and taught them to put their clothes in, Level/distribute then, put the soap in, close the lid and turn the dial till the line pointed at their sticker. I helped them put the clothes in the dryer until they were able to do it without a stool, and they folded with me (I would fold mine with them to model). They’re folding was horrible in the beginning-but they would self correct and over time got good at it. Now the youngest is 9 and has been 100% doing his own laundry for a year or so… best decision I ever made as a parent.
Trisha B
I just had to share on the laundry. When my daughters were in 7th and 8th grade the younger one yelled at me the whole way to school because I didn’t wash her red hoodie. I tried to explain that it was red and I could not throw it in with the other wash but she was so so rude. I went to work and was talking to my client (I was a hairstylist) and when I got home from work I had my daughters separate their laundry from mine, after I told them from now on you both will do your own laundry. The younger one was almost in tears as she asked will you at least show us how to do the laundry!! It was a good lesson for both of them. After that, she got rude again about being late for school, so my response was, well tomorrow you will start taking the bus to school and you won’t have to worry about being late! I never drove them to school again after that. Sometimes you just have to stop trying to please your kids all the time and hold them accountable. Love the tips in your article, I am now doing it all over again raising 2 granddaughters.
Jennifer
Good for you! That’s how it went down at my house too. I still did laundry for my youngest for a while but then he decided on his own to learn how to run the machine. Good luck with your granddaughters. It sounds like they are lucky to have you!
Heather Towsley
Along with their own laundry and cooking one night a week, our teenagers also have a week where they take out trash, or clean the floors. They each also have a specific chore that needs to be done every week, that pays for their cell phones.
Mindi
I actually started this year with teaching my daughter shopping skills and budgeting. She is 12 almost 13 we sit down and meal plan. We go through the fridge see what we have and make a list of meals to make for the week accounting in for any planned days we won’t be home and left over days. I give her a grocery budget for the week. She gets out ads for the couple of grocery stores close to us. (We have 3 in a 5 minute radius to us) and she sees where she will get the best deals for the items we need for the week and usually has $50 for the weeks food for 4 people. Any extra money rolls over to the next week and any change goes into a jar to be used towards spices when they need to be replenished. She has done great! Usually she has enough left over every 2 to 3 weeks to plan a pizza night one night. She is learning what to look for and finding items she can use more than once in the week or again another week to save her on her budget like rice and different veggies. She has been finding good deals on chicken now and then and makes plain shredded chicken in the crockpot and then freezes some for another week. She is learning with the cost of meat to make it the sidekick and not the hero of the dish as well so it gies further! Couldn’t be more proud!
Jennifer
This is brilliant! I love getting fresh ideas from other people. There are so many things I wish I had thought to teach my kids when they were a little younger. Way to go!
Jaymee
Dinner ideas: pancakes or waffles, chicken (or plant based) nuggets with Smashed fingerling potatoes. My daughter likes to come up with different sauces she can make from various websites.
This seems like a given but they do not learn in school any longer: how to sign your name in cursive (My daughter fills out her ira contribution form every Dec – First so she understands it investing is important and second so she knows how to complete the form and sign her name in cursive). Also how to address and stamp an envelope. I remember being totally shocked that my stepdaughters who were in high school did not address a card correctly that we were sending to somebody the stamp was on the wrong side and they did not know to put the return address! How to make a grocery list- We use Alexa but it keeps us both from impulse buying!
Love the other tips- Alarm setting has been a struggle for us!
Keep sharing!
Jennifer
Thanks for your thoughts! I love the ideas you suggested. I was a little shocked when I realized my kids didn’t know how to address an envelope either. I realized I had always done it for them because it was easier. I think it’s time to update this post! Thanks for sharing your ideas and the encouragement.
Rita Chastain
Thank you for sharing your good advice. This is just my opinion, however I feel strongly about it. I think it’s a very selfish choice and or decision to make, when parents avoid teaching their children about living on their own, and all that entails. It’s a lot easier to do it FOR them instead of taking the time to teach. I think it’s a form of cruelty to send them off without any independent skills. A big part of our job as parents, is to teach this to our children.
Here’s a suggestion for your list. Balancing a checkbook/budgeting. I opened in a checking and savings account for my daughter when she was in the eighth grade. I think this is also very important. By the time she got to college, I didn’t have to worry about her living on her own so much. She’s done very well. I
Jennifer
Thanks for your comments. You are right that balancing a checkbook and budgeting should be something kids should know how to do before they leave home. I have a friend that suggested teaching them how to paint and do small repairs as well. I probably should update my post!!!
Rowena
Thanks for your suggestions. I think setting up a schedule or a study time table should also be included on this list of things as well. Time management is an essential skill they must learn early and master well.
Jennifer
Any thoughts on allowences? What chores they should be paid to do and not pad to do?
Jennifer
We are a one-income family so we didn’t really do allowances although I am not opposed to them. My feeling about chores is that everyone lives in the house and benefits from doing so. Helping out is just what you do to make life work. There are always some bigger jobs that I am willing to pay for, especially if it means my husband and I don’t have to do it.
Jennifer Gibson
My children have animals. Lizards, chickens, cows, and soon a horse. They take care of the animals themselves. I help if they have sports or are somewhere overnight, but it is their responsibility to feed and water the animals they wanted and to keep up husbandry of them as well.
Carrie Eaton
Hi, thank you for sharing your article with me. I have a tween too! One thing I’ve figured out that would be helpful is teaching them how to order new shopping cards, bank cards, or rewards card from different stores. I hope you read ny feedback! Thank you again for sharing.
Jennifer
Thanks for the suggestion!