5 Things I Wish I Had Done Differently
Now that my kids are a little older I look back and wish I had done some things differently with them. I wish I had helped them develop better habits and attitudes. There are 5 things I wish I had done differently when my kids were younger. I am going to share with you so I can be accountable for making some changes at my house! While re-training is hard I am hopeful that it is not too late!
Many of the books I’ve read recently talk about this generations lack of drive and initiative. I see this lack of drive in my kids. I also see it in myself. Our society is consumed with entertaining ourselves. We spend too much time mindlessly scrolling through social media or watching Youtube videos? My kids have a hard time being bored. They don’t know how to entertain themselves without a screen in front of them. They will read but only if the computer or TV is off limits.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not anti-technology.
I am a lifelong TV lover.
I don’t want my kids to settle for passive entertainment. It would be great to see them produce their own videos instead of watching videos. I want us to be productive and interactive as a family.
How do we break these habits and replace them with better ones?
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Here are the 5 things I wish I had done differently when my kids were younger.
#1 I wish I had instilled in them a work first/play later attitude.
I am slow to get going in the mornings. Because of this I let my kids take it easy in the mornings. If I was tired and they asked to watch TV, I let them. I struggled for many years with low vitamin D which left me exhausted and out of focus. Unfortunately, I let my inability to get stuff done rub off on my kids. I lacked the energy to follow through with them which led to low expectations of them.
I should have been firmer on chores and responsibilities. Training them to get their work done before they even asked to play video games or watch Netflix would have been better. Doing a job right away if it takes less than 10 minutes is a great habit. I wish I had taught that to my kids when they were younger.
#2 I wish I had learned earlier to give them a to-do list
A to-do list is way more effective than me telling them what to do. I simply check the list to know whether or not a job is done. The checklist keeps me from nagging. In addition it cuts down on the whining and arguing. I wish I had learned this trick when my kids were little.
#3 I wish I set firmer parameters for TV and video game time
While this isn’t so much of an issue any more I wish I had been more proactive when the kids were younger. When I was little we didn’t have things life Netflix or Faebook suck away a whole day. When we watched cartoons on a Saturday morning they were done by 10 am. We didn’t have access to cartoons all day long every day.
Sometimes I wish we didn’t have Netflix but that is placing the blame in the wrong place! When I began seeing the negative results I knew I needed to set time boundaries in place. If I could do it over again I would have be firmer about the amount of time spent on devices. (Don’t tell my family but I am seriously considering cancelling our streaming services for the summer!)
#4 I wish I had let my kids be bored more often
As I mentioned before my kids are not very good at being bored. There is value in letting kids be bored. Being bored fuels creativity. There are so many different activities that help build life-long skills that kids can spend their time doing. I want to see my kids building and sewing, creating stop-motion videos, writing letters or stories, painting or drawing, learning to play an instrument. The possibilities are endless!
Read my post on TV free activities here.
My kids play nicer with each other when they don’t have the option of easy entertainment. Now that they are older they will pull out games and play together on their own. Last summer we were given a trampoline. The kids worked together to put the trampoline up. They created their own game that involves the sprinkler, the trampoline, and a ball. I don’t even know all the details because I’m not out there when they are playing!
#5 I wish I had played more games with them
What I like best about games is that it brings everyone to the table. My kids like games, I like games. That seems like a win/win right? Playing games should have been a no-brainer for me but I wasn’t good about making time for games when my kids were younger.
Games teach kids good sportsmanship. They bring everyone together. Games are interactive which is something we are missing in our smart phone culture. I think playing games helps build family identity. I wish we had set aside a family game night each week instead of just waiting for the holidays to play.
Sometimes it is easy to look back and feel a lot of regret. Instead of getting consumed with regret I try to remember that as long as my kids live in my house it is not too late to teach them new habits. The hardest change to make is me! If I want my kids to be productive I have to set the example.
- Work first then play
- Check off my to do list
- Set boundaries for my own TV time
- Be creative when I am bored
- Make time for playing games with the kids
There you have the 5 things I wish I had done differently with my kids when they were younger What about you? Are your kids little and under your feet or are they teenagers like mine? Are your kids grown and you have an empty nest? What do you want to accomplish with your family? If you have raised your kids what insight do you have for those of us with kids still at home? I would love to hear from you. Please feel free to comment below!
2 Comments
Jeanne
Thank you for this list! I look back 40 years and join you in this BUT God has given us a 2nd opportunity to set a different pattern with two of our Grands living with us, 11 and 16. And we do have fun together! But this is a reminder list of what is missing. Of course technology has taken unbelievable proportions, the youngest is on virtual school, so savy that he helps set up my online seminary course each week!
God is good, an may He bless you as you take time to share what He is teaching you!
Jennifer
Thank you! My oldest is getting ready to turn 18! The time goes by so fast. May God bless you as you raise your grandkids.